Stupid Criminal Quad-fecta

We have heard of the two-fold, and the trifecta, well this is 4 times the stupid for criminals. 

These stories speak for themselves.

1. Woman stabbed her boyfriend because he did not want to cuddle.

The best part about it, they apparently had only been dating for a week and decided relatively quickly to move in together. Long story short, she wanted some lovin’ after work and he said no, so she grabbed a kitchen knife. Lesson learned: If they won’t comply willingly…. grab the nearest sharp object! (do not actually do this please)

(source)

2. Man calls a bomb threat to prevent his wife from going out.

If you can’t find anything sharp, phone in a bomb threat to get your way. The husband was pissed he was working two jobs while his wife was going out on the town, apparently, he didn’t think it would actually affect the pub or involve the cops, just ruin his wife’s night.

(source)

Moving on from some break-up worthy relationship stories, there is always a good weed related, and alcohol-related story in the news to laugh at.

3. Man punches himself in the face so he doesn’t have to do a breathalyzer

Put yourself in his shoes for a second…. “maybe if I punch myself I can get out of this…” or at least get out of jail with an insanity plea? The cops luckily in this situation tended to his injury rather than forcing the test. He ended up with a few charges of mischief and messing with evidence. He also got an OUI (operating under the influence), assumably for operating his own body to punch himself.

(source)

4. Stoner tries to pay for his purchase using weed.

Marijuana, weed, pot, stinky green, whatever you want to call it, is not a form of currency in the United States (try Amsterdam?) The customer paid for his pizza and then tried asking for a soda with his food, understandable, but followed it up with some jumbled words and handed the clerk some pot.

(source)